Living in the crucible life that is here in Dubai made me realized how great life I had back in Manila. I sometimes think I want to disappear, but all I really want is to be found not anywhere but there.
My first few weeks experience in the city, at first depicts fast movement of the time that showcases the splendid beauty of the buildings, one of these that mesmerized me with wide eyed is the ever famous Burj Khalifa, following Dubai Mall and all other frenzy structures around that I used to see on the internet and television way back home.
Then tugging along the course of time, day after day became hard for me to understand why am I here in Dubai. What am I doing here, inspite of having a promising career in Manila and friends who cheered and family who supported me all the way. I know the fact that my husband is here, not denying that he is one of the reasons why I decided to leave my children for awhile. Though it’s painful for a mother like me but when I chose to go, I also embraced the challenges set to meet.
After two weeks, I got the job (that I remember was a fervent request from God to grant me a work that I can speedily start with whilst my tourist visa’s date of expiry is raging near). Then, there my new life begins…
As a start my life has an overflowing continued feeling of thankfulness and excitement. There isn’t a better way of describing it, it is hollow and yet filled with constant optimism. I am compelled somehow to share this wonderful feeling that immensely changed me to become a better person.
Before my life fleets in no specific direction. I know I am happy, I felt it, period. But the point of my happiness is shallow and terse. I found myself sometimes difficult to comprehend how will I be able to walk in a pathway back to gently being me. I am in the midst of circumstance wherein my personal vindication over good things are hardly able. I am scared and completely out of my element.
However, there was one tangible turning point in my life that I did not expect to happen. My journey begins when I met a friend who invited me to attend to their church gathering. Although I was kinda reluctant but still did pursue to come with her. I’ve been attending several Christian fellowships here, but no offensement to the former group, I felt this one where exactly I was called.
Just to share with, before leaving Manila, I prayed to God to redirect me to the church where I can possibly open myself with again. It was a very long time since I had an enormous fellowship with God, that’s why when I asked Him to lead my feet to where I can leap my faith. He never fails me, the wonder of His love have shown me the way to go.
Although my first meeting with these bretheren sad to say, also my last that month. Like a firefly in the desert I suddenly lost the luminiscence out from my hunger to know the way to Jesus and to serve God. I just caught myself gazing helplessly, and knew I disappointed Him. Thus, days and weeks came to pass and several invitations from my sister in Christ were confirmed, but my absence caught in dismay. My presence in the church is merely like an on & off switch button. Sometimes they saw me, sometimes they don’t.
After few months, I knelt down again to Him asking for His mercy to forgive me and entrust me the chance to live by His words. Asked to cleanse me from my wrong doings and keep my faith alive and burning! During that moment of prayer, I suddenly got tongue tied and my throat began to dry and thoughts can not ponder easily. And so to speak, amidst the dark room it’s between me and God. The feeling is so undeniable, indiscribable and unexplainable! The covenant is about to begin, anew! After talking with Him, tears gushed in my face heavily, without even noticing that the renewal of my vow with Him has been signed, convene and with seal of approval.
MY PRAYER:
Praise your name Oh God! My savior! My refuge!
Thank you Father God for the life of Jesus who redeemed my life from sin. Thank you for my salvation and for Your immeasurable divine mercy. You relentlessly gave Your life to me. I am not worthy of Your sacrifices but because You love me You died for me under the outrageous hands of the Jews.
Thank you Father God, for your forgiving heart though I have sinned in Your very thine eyes, You still forgave me. Thank you for giving hope and grace everyday in my life. I pray that I may constantly serve you with all my heart, equipped fully with Your battle gears and may it reminds me to wear it everytime I am fighting against this sinister, worldy place.
Thank you Father God, for choosing me to be one of your Armours. I am truly humbled of your love and mercy.
I place Your name on High! You are worthy of my highest praise! In the name your precious Son, Jesus Christ this I pray. Amen.
SCRIPTURE READING:
“For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God”. – 1 Peter 1:23
♥ CARPE DIEM! ♥ 